1. |
Unemployed
03:09
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Unemployed
Financial security completely destroyed
Lots of time to clean my home
but I just know that I won't
I'd rather dance and sing in front of the mirror
It's the only way I see my future getting better
I'm like a scab
you have to peel me off the couch
An electrical fire
is the only way I'm leaving this house
If you don't see my screen name on the interweb
It's fair to say that I probabbly haven't even got my lazy ass out of bed
No time to mountain climb, to ride my bike, go for a 10 mile hike
I'd rather stick my finger in my belly button just to see what that shit smells like
Pajama party for one, if you were here that'd surely be no fun
I know some owls and vampires that keep telling me I should get some more sun
All i know is that the job market has been kinda slow
The last time I worked was some time half past 40lbs ago
My girlfriend says that I should stop laying around
The last time I checked I had about 6 cents in my savings account
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2. |
The Loveseat
02:37
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The time to stand has come and gone
we've been on our feet for far too long
I know a little place in the livingroom that hasn't seen too much action
So hey there Mr. Sofa move over, tonight you ain't the main attraction
You know why they call it the loveseat?
they all want you to come sit next to me
Why you standing all the way over there?
There's no time to sit in separate chairs
Excuse me if you thought I was flirtin
But I just thought your ankles must be hurtin
After a long hard day of working
I'll close the shades, then i'll close the curtains
You can rest your head on my shoulder
I just caught a chill, I think it's getting colder
The only way you could possibly stay warm
is to be in the tight grasp of my arm
You know why they call it the loveseat?
they all want you to come sit next to me
Why you standing all the way over there?
There's no time to sit in seperate chairs
You and me can be romantics
Cuddle up and watch some netflix
They send the movie right to my mailbox
There's no question about what we should watch
I hear you out there searching for a spoon
This might sound weird but I keep them in the livingroom
Don't take the heat, get the fuck out da kitchen
A spot next to me is what you've been missing
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3. |
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Even though I like my a.p.t.
It's starting to wear on my a.d.d.
I could use a little more scenery
Even if it's someone else besides me,...
Seeing me...
It feels like everyone's out to get me
Every time someone forgets me
Even these four walls are against me lately
Call me bored or call me crazy
An occupation is a definite maybe
Someone please agree to pay me and save me
Maybe if I had some more attractive decor
'Cuz sleeping on this couch is as comfortable as sleeping on the floor
I'm tired of doing laps around the livingroom
When I awake at two in the afternoon
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4. |
Alone In Space
03:09
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She just wants to snuggle up on the couch
But I'm just too busy thinking of what the next song should be about
She works hard for the money
And all she wants is just a little of my company
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
She feels alone with me
When I'm alone in space
She says that I'm obsessed
With all of my interests
I think she's trying to express
Thoughts of her loneliness
I just want to spend my day on the computer
Start my world tour here on Earth, end with a couple of dates on Jupiter
She works hard all day and comes home to an empty house
Physically me by body is here, but my brain is definitely somewhere else
She says we don't make love the way we used to
Ever since I left my heart on Pluto
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5. |
Furniture
02:46
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6. |
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Doctor doctor, give me the news
I've got a bad case of the poor man's blues
Can I rest my head on your couch pillow
And tell you how my faith in anything has gone out the window
Here I am in psychotherapy
Bitching about how life isn't fair to me
I feel like those bathtub murder victims you see on CNN
Too young to die, too weak to move, too scared to try anything
Hold me down
Hold my breah underwater
Don't let me drown
Like unfit moms do to daughters
For me getting out of bed is the hardest thing to go through
Like Neil Sedaka says, "waking up is hard to do."
Or was it breakin up? Was it even a song I was thinking of?
Everything seems harder now, everything including thinking of stuff
Is this depreesion
I have to much to say for just one half hour session
It's a tough confession
Saying this nervous breakdown was my intention
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7. |
Sofa Messiah
03:27
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The issues that truly matter
I preach about in my Facebook status
My word of truth will make the world better
So follow me, follow me on Twitter
Who needs a job that pays when your purpose is to make the people listen to the words you say?
The only problem with my prior statement is my website only got three hits today
Politicians are liars
Bearers of false desire
So put your faith into this
Sofa messiah
How can I pay my gas bill balance
When the world is so out of balance?
Have more important things to think about
Then my debt and how to get myself out
I'm too consumed by moral philosophies
Then what employment opportunities have to offer me
I write my blogs and thoughts so awesomely
It makes your jobs look like bags of colostomy
Politicians are liars
Bearers of false desire
So put your faith into this
Sofa messiah
I spread the gospel to you
Via my blog on Youtube
Tune in your ethernet wire
To this sofa messiah
A couch to you, to me, the king, it's a throne I sit
Do not question me, just fetch me more chocolate
Lets disuss issues that truly matter
Make mention not of that my face looks fatter
Politicians are liars
Bearers of false desire
So put your faith into this
Sofa messiah
I'll share my thoughts on the internet
With fourteen year old girls that have not interest
in world affaris, they quickly tire
of this sofa messiah
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8. |
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Vacation time is here, I'm getting off the couch, I'm gonna go somewhere
Close my eyes and I'll be there, soaking up sunrays, breathing the tropical warm air
I'm gonna do this now while I'm young and able
I mean pick up the phone and call the company that installs digial cable
Travel channel, oh travel channel
Give me more sunny regions than I can handle
I'm goin surfin, channel surfin to my favorite city
Vacation tv station to the coast of Tahiti
The cable guy is here, he's gonna hook me up, he's gonna take me there
I don't even have to pack my bags, I'm gonna scratch my ass, I'm gonna crack open a beer
So lets go to an island so remote, the only way there is with a remote
No planes, no boats, no luggage toats, just Hawaian shirts, and hula skirts, no winter coats
Discovery channel on demand-uh
Take me to a land of friendly pandas
I'm goin surfin, channel surfin to my favorite city
Vacation tv station to the coast of Tahiti
We'll go there, go anywhere while in the comfort of my favorite armchair
Travel the world in a day and I don't even have to change my sweaty underwear
I'm goin surfin, channel surfin to my favorite city
And that city is any place but New England, New England weather is so shitty
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9. |
Global Life Share
03:16
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I got a job, it's on the internet
I'm gonna make a lot on the internet
A stay at home job, it's on the internet
Data entry, don't have to break a sweat
Welcome to the new cyber age
You don't have to work for minimum wage
It's a new way for you to get paid
Just buy this packet and follow what the instructions say
I don't give a damn
If it's a scam
I'll take a chance
What have I got to lose?
Got a careeer on the internet
No time to worry about identity theft
I'm a big shot, big business
They hired me on the spot on Craigslist
Excuse me while I count my millions
I'm just kidding, I make bazillions
My child staff is mostly Brazilian
Why does company employ children?
At Global Life Share have the life you dream of
Spend less time at the office and more time with the ones you love
You'll only have to work for minutes a day
The future you've been waiting for is just a few clicks away
You can be successful in virtually no time
Just include your start up fee of $99.99
Here's a testimonial of someone whos been there:
Now I have more time to love my sister. Thanks Global Life Share!
Yee-Hoo!!!
I don't give a damn
If it's a scam
I'll take a chance
What have I got to lose?
It's a scam
If it's spam
Don't take a chance
Working from home isn't real
Start today and receive this complimentary sofa bed.
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10. |
Stupor
03:58
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I started sippin some Beam
Next thing I know I'm in a dream
I'm fallin down and I'm stumblin
Feels like the ground belows crumblin
I had some problems with balance
Ever since I emptied that chalice
I wish my vision was clearer
You look like a funhouse mirror
That last drink knocked off my soxors
I'm runnin round in my boxers
I'm about to call for some pizza
Cuz I ain' fallin asleep here
There ain't no room on the couch
Everyone else is passed out
I'll to shake off this daze
I feel like a mouse in a maze
I can't remember my name
I don't know how much I drank
I put the blame on this
Stupid stupor
Had too much fun with a funnel
And now I'm walking through tunnels
Over the toilet screaming uncle
From too much alcohol consumption
My heads about to burst at the seems
All thanks to Mr. Jim Beam
If I still had a job
I'd take tomorrow off
There's nothing left of this rager
The liquid's turned into vapor
Everyone else has retired
I am the sole survivor
There's nothing left of my future
Just getting over this stupor
And uploading the pictures
Of all my teabagging victims
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11. |
Sincerely, Your Liver
04:01
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Last night I don't recall
Anything at all
It might be a wakeup call from my body
If I can't even hold down this cup of coffee
I can't keep living like this on such limited income
With cheap handles and 30 racks I think I'm all done
Dear me, listen please
Can't take another shot of vodka
I could afford furniture if I didn't just get wasted when I
Stop pounding Steel Reserves while using Old English as a chaser
Cutting back tipping back is my current mission
I have enough in bottle returns to pay for my first kids college tuition
Now don't get me wrong cuz I'm not quitting
I'm just trading guzzling for sipping
Dear me, listen please
Can't take another shot of vodka
Classy isn't drinking Natty
Out of a snifter, sincerely your liver
P.S. Clean up the mess
There's beer fowls all over your beat up old sofa
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12. |
Don't Count Me Out Yet
04:09
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I'm planning on feeling better, finally
And when I do I'll make myself an active member of society
I'll make more applications
Be adamant about sending resumes in
I'll get a haircut, maybe lose a couple of pounds
Take my girlfriend for a night on the town
When you're working overtime
You neglect your peace of mind
Please don't count me out yet
Cuz I'm counting each second as progress
I'll by a better couch, dryer, and washer machine
I won't have to wear the same thing every day, all of my clothes will be clean
Sometimes getting better
Means a break from societal pressure
Please don't count me out yet
Cuz I'm counting each second as progress
Still years of hurting to deal with
When I'm not working I'm healing
We'll buy the things that were stolen from us at our last apartment
Get the money that the landlod owes us, and pay the bills on time again
I'm planning on feeling better momentarily
I'll put my life back together with a bit more clarity
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Transparent Lines
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It's obvious. Just listen.
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Such eclectic influences heard throughout.
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