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Nothing To Look Forward To

by Shawn Malloy

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1.
There on a treadmill. Won't go anywhere Maybe that's the end of the story Sounds like a chance is a million to one That it can accelerate motion The time has passed Point of no return has come at last The moment is gone Waited too long outlasted the interest So take another step Hey take another stride You know that we're not getting any younger Try to stay relevant Though that spark has died Don't wanna drown so we keep on treading water Rest in peace oh rock and roll Bury all your heroes Climate change, inevitable The heat of the summer killed us all I sent my guitar to a nursing home I sent my love to the days of old I'll meet you there, if you return There, we can watch the future burn We woke up somewhere between washed up and deceased Generation of casualties to the nature of the beast
2.
Come down from all the excitement Come now, and join me in slow riding it Low octane, and out of gas Looks like fun has come to pass Cuz I need something to look forward to Cuz I feel like boredom's about to brew We saw peaks, Now we're down in the valley We geeked, Now we're sloppier than jelly What's next? I can't wait for the next high It's unforseen as of now as I lack foresight Cuz I need something to look forward to Cuz I feel like boredom's about to brew You can float on a cloud but eventually it rains All the good times get over as quickly as they began I need a date to mark on my calendar And not a run of the mill sort of thing, make it something spectacular
3.
Go To Girl 03:52
He's a walking timebomb ticking in rhythm with your heartbeat But the only thing your left with from the explosion is the debris On the cliff of a relationship, and he's too drunk to dial What's next is the text, cuz he knows his voice has gone out of style He wants back what he never had In and out like the latest fad Years ago you fell for it Did you toughen up since, to not fall for it again? You're the go to girl When he spins out of control You'll never be more than a high school kiss between periods We all watch and wonder if he's being serious? Always the one to nurse him back to health And then he's right back hittin the old dusty trail And then you're left with your heart in your hands Not a contender for a longterm plan Feel like the victim of a well executed money making scam? Gettin tired of insincere apologies Since when did you change policies? Are you not the punching bag we used to know? Scarred insides from the gasoline you swallowed He's like a repressed memory Always comes back to you Or maybe this time around there's some guilt involved For everything that he put you through
4.
I'm always two steps behind you I always know where I can find you But I'd rather stand and let you choose To drive away and fade me out of your rearview Maybe it's best just to leave it there and then What is the point? To relive it again? Don't syndicate the moment once its gone Sometimes love is simply moving on Young and confused in the worst time of our lives Bittersweet and short lived, destined for goodbyes I hope you've kept the best of me And in time you'll just forget the rest of me I've always wished you well Keep you close, but parallel Don't call Don't need to hear from you at all I'm fine Leaving you behind
5.
Part Time 02:50
I can't afford furniture. I just get wasted. Off whatever I can get with my lousy paycheck. Now, I'm employed, but it's not that bad. Cuz I still got more than what I ever had. And that's a good time every night with the love of my life and some cheap box wine If you want to lead a happy life You can't work the hectic 9 to 5s. Settle for the cash of the part time. You don't need debt of credit cards No bigass house with acres of backyard No G6, No yachts, no expensive cars Reach for the ceiling if you want the stars I eat so much free range organic poultry With my government issued food stamp money If you want to lead a happy life You can't work the hectic 9 to 5s. Settle for the cash of the part time. If you want to lead a happy life Don't fight with stress cuz you'll get your ass kicked. Stay home to beat the rush hour traffic. But what about the children? We need health insurance. We can't afford the mortgage. We're gonna wind up homeless! I don't have all the answers. I don't have all the right solutions. I just know that for me this is better Being a poor but spiritual human.
6.
Oh, the warm summer days And the warm summer nights I ain't talkin bout Grease No hunny, I'm talking bout life Don't it make ya feel better To tear off that horrible sweater? Oh man, we needed this weather So we should smoke this one together So baby meet me outside Hey baby meet me outside We got nothin goin on in here So meet me outside It's just a little bit stuffy But oh baby are you lookin so lovely! So finish up that bean burrito now And head to the front door and let yourself out Just let me clean up a bit And find out if these old Levi's still fit I want to look the part for the mood And baby I want to look good for you I never used to smoke these cigarettes No love for the cancer I'm about to get With you and me and the headlights of all the passing cars Don't it feel so right under the stars?
7.
Back when I turned 21 I found a savior in a coke and rum Self medicate, self medicate Need medicine, Need medicine Is there a better way to slow down This is the only way I know how My mind is running at the speed of sound When it hits the wall, I'll be hitting the ground I'm still workin it out I'm still walkin on the ground Though my head is somewhere up in the clouds I fly high in the sky Now I feel like I could die I need a parachute to get down You can see by the reds of my eyes That my little cup is getting dry Please medicate, please medicate Need medicine, need medicine No pharmaceuticals, don't want no chemicals or aphrodesiacs, you can have em back I need the liquid form, go to the liquor store I can't take my head, can't take it anymore Don't feel like being up all night Tossin, turning from side to side Obsessing about tomorrow morning If you wanna see me suffer then keep me sober
8.
Deja Vu 03:56
I'm blessed that I have such a knack to reminisce Memories I often miss Deja vu, I love you, Can I get some more of that 2010 That's when I wrote Furniture in my livingroom Let me write that record again Today, I don't have a problem It's fine and I'm freakin' awesome I just live my life on repeat Yesterdays, so bittersweet Havin a hard time Givin in to the times Havin a rough time Getting on with my life Everything seems Better as memory So give me a Delorean And send me back to that time One might think I'm sick cuz I'm so nostalgic With today I'm out of sync Watch me dance in my MC Hammer pants With my hair like Kidd and Play and my DJ Jazzy Jay Obsessed with SNES and Sega Genesis and watching Doug on Nickelodeon I put Gak in my fanny pak and my superoaker's filled with Crystal Pepsi I swear I do this one thing all the time I party like it's 1999 I live life for wrestling classics Like Randy Savage... Havin a hard time Givin in to the times Havin a rough time Gettin on with my life Everything seems Better as memory So give me a Delorean And send me back to that time Doc Brown, give me the keys I promise I won't run into the other me I won't let this time-space continuum collapse I just want to see my past The future's looking mighty grim When everything before it is looking better than... then Deja Vu, I love you
9.
Always in intermission Refrain from intervention Somewhere I became a slug When I stopped giving a fuck Can't move. Can accelerate. I just dissolve. Disintegrate. Fade to black. Fade away. Even for that, I procrastinate. Half assed or half hearted? I never finish what I've started Could use some motivation To commence animation About as active as a statue Only do something if I have to Give me a push, a little shove I'll just restart the clock when my time is up I need incentives, and I need benefits I need something that piques my interest I'm like a loaf of moldy bread A sloppy oaf is how I'll spend my breaths
10.
A picture's worth a thousand words Like empty, and sad, or hollow Your face is a decorative scene With no trails to follow Plastic pretty for an imagined face On display like a plantless vase I have come to a consensus That everything beautiful just takes up space You're just junk food on the eyes With the nutrition of a side of fries You are so picture perfect With the way you try I just wanna slice you open To see if there's anything inside You're polished off like a 5th of whiskey Though I won't feel you When the morning comes There's no substance abuse when there's no substance Just a headache when the bottle is done Poster child for posters Mannequin of mannequins You're doin good for an object An object that's almost inanimate I'll be honest, girl you give me chills Because I freak out when you don't just stand still You are so picture perfect With the way you try I just wanna slice you open To see if there's anything inside You are so picture perfect Your face, your hair, your nails But behind is a broken window Glass shards, cold air beyond the veil What you think and what you feel, I can't tell When your face is covered up better than Roswell
11.
I think people got the wrong idea Their opinions of you are all based in fear But I never felt that way Disregard the things they say I see the real you, or so I believe I'll stand by you though I may appear naive I think about you here and there and all the time Wanting you to land on my doorstep and take me for a ride You really don't have to take me anywhere I just want to know for sure that you are there I'll take a risk and I'll break down the barrier I could be mistaken I'm a pretty good judge of character For what purpose would you destroy me? Just say what you say, stop ignoring me I'm a big boy I can handle the truth I'm only human, what do I have to lose I'll go with you, it's fine It seems like everyone around here has lost their mind I've always wanted to travel far a
12.
What have I accomplished? Where have I progressed? Not much by comparison To all the rest I blow all my money On going out to the bar I have outstanding debt With my savings jar I only live for fun Priority number one They say live every day like it's your last So I don't fall asleep til its an empty glass If you only had 48 hours to live Would you go to work or school or bungee jump off the edge of a cliff? It's hard to focus your eyes On a distant destination So just enjoy the flight It's all part of this vacation I could spend my time being angry at the world I could spend my time working toward unrealistic goals But there's beer... there's beer...
13.
Footsteps 03:14
Consciousness is divine Synchronicity and signs Lead me down the right path With appreciation and a laugh Every day is an impossible dream Chart new territory with my feet Abundant gifts of stimuli As if the world around me was made for my eyes Happy to interlink with people I meet Funny how the moments turn into weeks Might seem we're standing still but we move as fast as the planet Just along for the ride with no need to have all the answers We make footsteps ever so quietly Overwhelming and foreign, we may acquire anxiety But every living thing is doing exactly the same Connected and directed like billions of carts of a single train

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released October 4, 2017

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Shawn Malloy Ann Arbor, Michigan

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